Saga #22 by Brian K. Vaughan PDFWARNING! Major ranting, raving, and plot spoilery ahead!
READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!!!!!!
So, yeah. I got my copy of Saga today, and the tagline simply states: "The family will be tested."
Really?? Tested?? THAT'S what we're calling the shit these days?? Right.
So, Prince Robot IV appears to have returned to the land of the living to mourn his wife and begin the search for his princeling son. And who didn't love his fat ass dad, King Robot, with his 250,000-inch screen head? I mean, talk about high-definition. He really meant it when he said: "I carry the weight of this bloody world on my shoulders." Indeed. Hope he got a SquareTrade warranty with that. Sheesh.
So back to this tested family shit. . .
I'm definitely becoming exasperated with the predictable route that this story is taking. And my ratings are starting to reflect that. In the beginning, I loved this series because I was able to bask in the strength of the star-crossed lovers who were determined to keep their family together against all odds. They were fiercely loyal to and protective of each other. I'll never forget how they fought for each other, and were always ready to throw down on the other's behalf. Oh, how I fondly recall issues 2-5, and how SOLID Marko and Alana were together as they fought to survive and find peace for their little family.
In this issue, the tables have turned. And not for the better. As a matter of fact, it's just the opposite: Now they have turned ON each other. And it's not like we don't see where all of this is headed. Apparently Marko has some sort of secret, repressed feelings for blue, pig-faced Ginny, the dance teacher, who gives Hazel "dance lessons. In private. Twice a week. Nothing more." (Yeah, I once had a boyfriend who was study-buddies with this chick in his chem class. And they studied together. In private. Twice a week. Nothing more. You feel me?) Marko's also been harboring anger and resentment because of the family's living situation, with Alana having to carry the family. He's probably been confiding in Ginny about all that, too. And on her side, Alana has been lighting up with Fadeaway just so that she can stomach her less than ideal occupation (and home situation). Not only that, Alana seems to be aware of Ginny's foreboding presence in her husband's and daughter's lives, because she accuses Marko of saying Ginny's name in his sleep. And to this accusation, he spectacularly has no response, rebuttal, or protest. In the end, Marko and Alana get into a huge fight and she orders him away after he displays an uncharacteristic losing of his temper in the heat of the moment. And raise your hand if you know the first place he'll head to. Did you say Ginny's place? Yep. So did I. And is it the middle of the fucking night? Yep. Sure is. And if you recall from issue #20, Ginny so helpfully explained to Marko that her "husband [was] on the road most of the year, hauling construction supplies to the Green Zone." And just like Hazel was tucked away in bed asleep in the last frame of the family, so will Ginny's daughter be, too, when Marko arrives knocking on Ginny's door, right? Perfect, huh? (Does anyone else hear the instrumental version of Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get It On" already playing in the background at Ginny's place as we await issue #23?) So again, who doesn't know where this epic clusterfuckery is headed??
And as sour icing on the cake, Yuma is all set to give up Alana's family, in exchange for being spared by the rogue murdering/kidnapping janitor robot who wants to appear on live television, and who, I'm sure, will end up killing Yuma regardless of her magnanimous information over-sharing.
Does that about sum up this issue??
Yep. I guess it does.
There you have it, people. Goddamn, motherfucking Saga #22.
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